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Top 10: Things I Will Do When I Win Powerball Tonight
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The Powerball jackpot has increased to $700 million, making it the second largest in U.S. history. Lottery officials raised the expected jackpot Tuesday, pushing it past a $656 million Mega Millions jackpot won in 2012 by three people. The prize for Wednesday’s drawing has grown so massive because it’s been more than two months since a jackpot winner, on June 10.

 

1) Sign the damn ticket- If there's one thing I've learned from the countless "what to do when you win" lists, is sign the ticket so it's my money, no matter what.

 

2) Make "Top 10 People Who Can Kiss My Ass" List- Starting off with everyone who made my life miserable. ( May have to make it a Top 20. )

 

3) Go to Lottery Office- Sleep in parking lot, waiting for doors to open. Rush the door like it was Black Friday.

 

4) Bring shoebox of "losings"- "Open box, make it rain" during post-win press conference. Let people know this was at LEAST 10-plus years in the making, and NOT some stupid, fake-ass "on-a-whim" bullcrap.

 

5) Go to Dodge Dealer- Order one Challenger R/T Shaker, One Hellcat, One Dodge Demon. Put rush on it.

 

6) Give donation to church- "A little something back to the house" for the win. Tribute for "The big man."

 

7) Give current house to homeless family- Then, buy house no where NEAR an intersection, and far away from any and all noise.

 

8) Buy gifts for family, friends who have been good to me- Since that list is small, I should be good to go.

 

9) Get personal trainer, get cosmetic surgery- become an "Adonis"- Fix all the cosmetic flaws like teeth, face, etc.

 

10) Get laid- If money can't make it happen, then something is terribly, terribly wrong. 

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