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AJ's Top 10: Emergency Places To Poop
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A Sacramento man came home and found what appeared to be dog poop at the bottom of his driveway. When he looked at the footage in his security camera, however, he found a dissatisfying surprise. He watched a woman who was delivering a package for Amazon driving a U-Haul doing the deed. He said he was “shocked” by what he saw and immediately contacted Amazon and filed a complaint. A company representative was "shocked and thoroughly apologized," and said that the deliverywoman worked for a third-party contractor Amazon had hired to make those deliveries. “I wanted Amazon to come clean it up,” he said, adding he missed the delivery by minutes.

 

1) The Woods- Bears do it, why not you? Just be certain to have something to wipe with, and watch for poison ivy

 

2) Behind a bush- Bushes provide the ultimate cover in a poop emergency

 

3) In an alley- a dark alley is great to poop in, just make sure it's not one with high traffic

 

4) Behind a dumpster- Again, great to hide behind. Best between a wall and the dumpster. After all, the word "dump" is in dumpster, isn't it?

 

5) In a large bucket/container/garbage can- Great for jobsites, or a road emergency, when the next rest stop is too far too make it.

 

6) In a stream/lake/ocean- It not only will carry the poop away, but the water has cleansing properties. Just make sure your droppings are floating downstream or currents away from you.

 

7) In a hole you dug- The camping method. Dig a hole, squat and poop, cover up the droppings and the towels you used to wipe with.

 

8) In the sand of a beach- Your "inner cat" will be pleased. Just try to avoid using a highly trafficked area. You wouldn't like finding it if someone else did it, would you?

 

9) The doorway of an abandoned building- It's abandoned, so nobody's going to step in it. The doorway provides private shelter.

 

10) Next to your car on the road (w/car blocking you from sight)- For those times where there's no woods or bushes to run into. Park the car at an angle so it blocks traffic from seeing you. Just don't take too long or look suspicious as to cause police curiosity.

 

 

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