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Posted: 6:25 a.m. Friday, March 1, 2013

Fri. 3/1/13 

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By Phil

Comedian Robert Kelly was hanging in studio, talking about his pregnant wife, his new diet, and both of his shows coming up this weekend.

TOP 10 LIST:

One reason so many American women are overweight may be that we are vacuuming and doing laundry less often, according to a new study that is likely to stir controversy and emotions. The study,  is a follow-up to an influential 2011 report which used data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics to determine that change during the past 50 years.  Data showed how many hours the women were spending in various activities, how many calories they likely were expending in each of those tasks, and how the activities and associated energy expenditures changed over the years.

TOP 10: SUBTLE WAYS TO TELL HER SHE IS GETTING FAT (THINGS TO DO)

1) Take her to places where she has to wear a swimsuit - Start taking her to places where she has no choice but to wear a swimsuit. She’ll more than likely vow to do something about recent weight gain, especially if she knows she’ll be back there in the not-so-distant future.
2) Leave "now" and "then" photos lying around - By consistently reminding her of how she used to look, she’ll inevitably be more inclined to do something about her excess flab. Appropriately chosen and strategically placed photos should accomplish this quite nicely.
3) Schedule a formal date - Tell her you’re planning a fancy night out at least six weeks in advance of the date. Not only will this give her a fair amount of time to start getting back into shape, but having a formal date to look forward to will also give her something to want to look good for.
4) Ask her to wear an old dress - Insist that she wears something from when you first got together; particularly something that you know doesn’t fit her anymore. This way she’ll have to admit to you that she’s put on too much weight and can no longer get into many of her old clothes.
5) Playfully grab her love handles - If you continually rest your hand on her love handles (or even lightly pinch them), she’ll soon realize that you’re becoming increasingly aware of something that never used to be there before.
6) Improve your own diet - Staking your right to a junk-food-free home. It might even be the only way of separating her from the fatty foods which have led to the current problem.
7) Serve her unsatisfactory portions - By making her ask for more food, you might succeed in shaming her into an acknowledgment of her recent weight gain.
8) Set out on your own weight loss plan - By referencing yourself in any plans to lose weight, you’re also subtly telling her that you’re not the only one who might benefit from a diet.
9) Sign her up for yoga under the pretence of "stress relief" - The beauty of yoga is that if you dress it up as a way to relieve stress, she may not realize that she’s being tricked into shedding a few pounds
10) Buy her clothes that are too small - Not only will she finally have to admit that she’s putting on weight, but she can easily return them for her correct size.

IMPOSSIBLE TRIVIA:

Q: ONLY ONE IN FIVE OF US HAVE ONE OF THESE IN OUR KITCHEN. WHAT IS IT?
 
A: AN APRON

About Phil

Producer for Chaz and AJ in the Morning E-mail Us ...Chaz: chaz@wplr.comAJ: aj@wplr.com Phone Numbers.

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